7/26/2022
I may not sure how to start this post. I attend a life group (small group) through church. We have been digging into identity- not our worldly identity, but who God calls us. We start week 4 last night, and it was over forgiveness.
The devotional was the problem- it was the environment. Please understand that I’m not crazy, but God uses me by either giving me words of knowledge through pain and now, apparently, through environment. I can’t really explain what I felt last night, but it crept up like a dark rush of anxiety- rapid heartbeat. I waited to say anything until it was hard to breathe. I stopped group and asked to pray again.
We joined hands and began to pray- my heartbeat lessened and my breathing began to relax. But the ‘thickness’ that I felt remained through the group. I finally gave the burden to God in my war room.
God has revealed to me that throughout this journey to be a Christian- sometimes we are leaning on the wrong things to get closer to him. I was leaning into those feelings last night- trying to discern the meaning behind them. By doing that, I actually let the evil in and that was the Holy Spirit fighting it off of me.
God is so good! He’s love and if it feels bad- it’s bad! Get out of that and give it to God!
I’ve been on this journey for sometime now, but recently I was baptized again. My first baptism was over 15 years ago, and I wasn’t ready. I definitely accumulated more sin over the last 15 years then any time before. Satan certainly knows how to get us to follow the world instead of the truth. I surrendered everything to God; I will invite Jesus every morning to live inside my body. I will capture every thought and not let anything ‘bad’ linger. I am alive which means He’s not done!
Have a blessed week!
Tabi