I recently took a vow of silence. Honestly I did it without praying about it so I’m not sure if it was approved by God or if I just need to test myself. Taking this vow meant not talking to anyone- verbally for a whole day. Doesn’t sound hard and truthfully it wasn’t. The hard part was trying to explain to my husband why I was doing it?
I often take our differences for granted and I fail to understand where he is coming from. Being a new Christian, I know the importance of embracing the Word and prayer daily. I have learned that praying is only half of the work- the other half is listening. Which sadly I fail at more often then I succeed. I took the challenge of silence so that I could practice listening. For an entire, Saturday I said nothing. I did text when I needed to communicate but that was it. Silence.
Throughout the day, I read the word and even had it read to me through an app. I found that I only got distracted a few times and not on the usual topics. I found that my brain was resting when I didn’t have to talk. No complaining. No nagging. No boasting. Just listening to what God had for me.
Yet I did not hear the small voice of God. I felt peace. I knew He was with me. I felt the Spirit of calm and even got in a nap (which I never make time for). It wasn’t until the next morning that I got the message.
The message that wasn’t delivered the way I would of pictured. Definitely not the grace one would hope for after being devoted to listening. I got ’talked’ to by my husband. His stern voice. He wasn’t happy that I took a whole day away from spending quality time from US. He didn’t understand why I had to take this vow and wasn’t impressed that I left him in the dark. He didn’t understand why I was committed to doing anything for the church but denied him a dinner out. He ended the conversation with a simple request, ”I want my wife back!”
I was confused. I thought I was following my calling to grow closer to my Father God and my savior Jesus! How could he be so angry for following this path that lead to righteousness? Then I got it. First, I didn’t have a clear answer from the Holy Spirit that this vow was from Him; it was a test for myself. I hadn’t heard God’s small voice because his message was delivered by my husband. The one who I was joined too. The one who I am to share life- the one who is to lead me on the path to righteousness. I bypassed everyone important to put myself first.
God’s message was that I was missing His voice, I continue to lean on my own understanding instead of trusting my life to Him. That was a valuable lesson. Spending one Saturday in silence- lead to a revelation that brought me back to the path I needed to be on. Thank you Jesus!!
God’s messages are not always as we expect.
God Bless!
Tabi