I have asked myself that a lot lately. Who am I past all the hats that I wear? I know that I am a child of God, a wife, mother, sister and daughter. I am a childcare provider who is about to be retired. After all that- who am I?
I am the type of person who would sell you on the fact that I’m easy going, while secretly trying to control everything. I’m definitely the type of person who washes all the laundry, dries it and leaves it to put away way later. Often times just wearing it out of the pile until its back to dirty. (I can’t be the only one who does that).
I was really convicted by a Facebook reel last week, a guy complaining about his wife and her new DIY project. What really hit home was the ’she bought a new outfit just to get it ruined’. LOL! I shopped for hours looking for new pants to wear for a paint day at church. I’m that person.
I am starting a collection of faith based t-shirts. I have about 7 now. Anything from ’Created for more’, ’Be like Jesus he took naps’, to ’God’s greater than my ups and downs’. Probably the least I can explain ’Created for a purpose’. Maybe explain isn’t the word for it; more like believe or fathom? I know God created me for a reason- but as a renewed Christian, I’m torn. My flesh says one thing and my Bible tells another.
Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men Matt 4:19 Jesus is telling Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew to drop their nets and follow him. And straightaway they did. Along with all the other apostles. Did they just have a feeling that this was what they were to do? I wonder if they thought it was just for the day. Like we’re not catching any thing any ways- lets see what He’s gonna do. I’m down for a movie or a snack- let’s just check it out! Right? Then miracles started happening- blind were given sight, sick were healed and demons were ejected! What a roller coaster!
I can see myself shrugging and saying what the heck- let’s go. Not knowing that I would be on the ride of my life! I know that this is my grand purpose. Recruiting humans to follow and believe in Jesus as our Lord and Savior. While continuing my relationship with Him at the same time. It’s one thing to recruit it’s another to believe for yourself.
I have said many times that it’s a simple action to repent and ask Jesus into your heart. It’s even easier to for the devil to steal it from you when your not mindful of whats in you. Satan stills my joy because I allow him to planet doubt in my head. This is exactly what the sower parable is about.
Matthew 13:3 -9 (KJV) My paraphrase- this guy went around tossing seeds- I’m thinking he was probably a teenager trying to get back to the video game. Just throwing them anywhere- some were eaten by birds, some fell upon stony places, some scorched by the sun, fell into thorns and were choked; lastly some were sown in good ground and produced good fruit. In this parable I would relate to the stony places- Matt 13:20-21 (KJV)
But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that hearth the word, and anon with joy receiveth it; yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended.
By no means am I being physically persecuted but the mind is a battlefield- and it doesn’t get a break without the peace only God provides. I need head gear.
This is a much longer post than I originally thought. I guess I bunny trail or the Holy Spirit has his own message to write. Regardless, I will have to table this for now. I hope that it has at least prompted you to ask the same question- Who am I? Who are you really?
Happy reading,
Tabi