For some reason, it’s been put on my heart to humble myself. I think during my prayer time this morning the Holy Spirit told me to practice humility. I thought of putting it on my facebook. Since other friends have put it out there that they are giving up fb for lent. This seemed like a good place to throw it out there, but the Holy Spirit thought otherwise. I had a whole post written out and somehow it was deleted… that was a clear message! So my status just reads ’Tabitha is feeling blessed’ no other explanation.
So thinking this over I thought to humble myself with truths that I need to tell….. I know that lying is a sin. I don’t believe I have any flat out lies but some half truths or assumptions that do need to brought into the light! This post will revile the truth! Bare with me on this:
#1: Cornerstone Church is my home; half truth (kinda). When I’m asked I brag about going to Cornerstone since 1998; which is fact but I only attended one service. Throughout the last 22 years I have only attended Cornerstone and sadly only when I was desperate for God’s grace. I was one of those Christians. It wasn’t until recently that I have dedicated myself to Christ and have been faithful to Cornerstone. I have committed myself to my church family and am grateful to be a part of their Dream Team!!
#2: I am a NEW Christian. I think I’ve always considered that to be truth, but never truly identified myself this way- and definitely a NEW Christian. I am so blessed to be a daughter of God and have Jesus as my savior! My newness actually started in November 2021- so I’m about six months in!
#3: Praying hands on FB- it was only recently that I actually stop what I’m doing and prayer for people on FB who are requesting it. Before then I just sent an emoji… sad I know! Please forgive me- I’m a work in progress!
#4: I love my job- this is a half truth. There are so many reasons to love my job, but truth it’s alot of work. It’s daily isolation which I’m quit sure my personality isn’t equipped for. I do love the children and families that I have served. I love daily moments together watching them grow and learn new things.
#5: I’m humble. Which is the very reason for this post! I am very prideful, I struggle with not being the center of attention. My flesh has been fed by attention since I was a small child and not always in a positive light. This is definitely a weakness that Satan likes to parade in front of me. Sadly he’s won more battles in this area that I would like to admit. Satan has stole years of my life putting me on top and I am guilty of trying to get that ’status’ back. Thankfully God had a better plan for me!
#6: I know what to do. I use to tell everyone, ’just smile and fake it until you make it.’ That was a lie I often told myself. I have no idea what to do! I struggle with being passive- just going with the flow. Which being passive isn’t a bad trait in itself but when you go with the flow and that flow that’s you from God’s truth- thats when it becomes something else. That’s when I have to pull myself out of it before I’m guilty of stuff that wasn’t intended.
#7: I need _________ (fill in with some material thing). I don’t need anything material. I think for a long time I believed that ‘something’ would make me FEEL better. Another trick Satan played on my life; fixing my feelings with anything other then the love and mercy of God. I still struggle with this, but now I can recognize when I’m being played! Thank you Holy Spirit!
#8: I’m not my mother. LOL! I am much like my mother. I not only physically resemble Mom but I have many of her traits- some not so favorable. Let’s just say we talk too much and the narrative is not always with love. I wonder if my judgement side came from this area?? Sorry Mom!
#9: I’m going to write a blog. I hope this doesn’t turn out to be a lie anymore… I started this website two years ago. About every six months I’ve logged in and made changes. Changes to the theme, changes to the context and even wiped the entire thing to ’start over’ never actually starting anything. So, as of 3/4/22 I am starting something again with this website. I really do want this to be something that I can accomplish for myself and hopefully have some kind of impact on others.
#10: I might need/ use that later. Hoarding is a problem in my family. Can hoarding be a character trait? Addiction- yes! Totally! I can’t see hoarder listed on a personality trait- maybe it should! But would we be honest enough to check that box? I am guilty of hoarding clothes, shoes, mail. Things just pile up until I can’t stand it anymore then I rearrange the pile, buy something to organize the pile, all before actually throwing anything away. Sad. Again I am a work in progress.
#11: I am in control. This is a big one. I tend to take control- I control most of my household- where things go, how to fold the towels, when you can do laundry, what groceries are bought….etc. Ouch I can feel the conviction in my shoulder. This is truly a struggle for me. My need to control things is out of control!
#12: I’m outgoing. This is a half truth- I am able to talk to anyone. I smile at you no matter what and will probably strike up a chat if you make eye contact for too long. However, I won’t allow myself to dive deep- I do not like to be vulnerable. I will circle that at all cost. I’m more like an advertisement then ’outgoing’.
Well I got 12 out there and will update this post when anything major shows up.
Happy reading,
Tabi